On Blogging

I am currently working on a reworking of a reworking of an emo poem I wrote as a teen. I was debating which to post, but decided to post all, because a) This way I can get input, which may help me decide which version I like/keep on improving the versions I have b) part of writing is the process, and posting this is basically posting part of my creative process c) Each version has its pluses/minuses. This way, the reader can read each, and choose which one they like best, as opposed to my choosing for them.

In general, I have recently been pondering how blogging affects my writing. There are times when it is positive, because it forces me to write or edit. On the other hand, there are times I wonder if maybe I would be better off letting the piece simmer, working on it for a few weeks or even months, instead of my current instinct, to work on it for a few days max, and then post it, because I am so eager to share. Plenty of wonderful writers spent years working on one poem.

The truth is however, that while in the future I may take blog peices and work on them more, for now, I would like to get stuff out there, because as a writer, at a certain point you want a reader (or potential reader, since I don't know how many people read this), and if you feel you don't have one, it can be easy to lose motivation.

On the other hand, Franz Kafka and Emily Dickinson refrained from publishing much of their works during their lifetimes. Franz Kafka even requested that his works be burned. Clearly, these writers worked hard and produced brilliant work, in the absence of a reader. Was this despite the absence, or because of it? Tenessee Williams bemoaned the perils of young fame, and I believe that today, it is perhaps too easy for a writer to be aware of her reader's eyes upon her, and this can have a negative effect on her writing, though this "negative effect" is not inevitable.

Personally, I do not advertise my blog to friends, because while the abstract concept of someone, even someone I am close too, reading this blog, is fine and perhaps even encouraging, the thought of "Specific person A reading Specific piece B" is a bit too much for me, and I am afraid it will make me self-concious and inhibit my writing.

Of course, one day I would love to be published, actually published, in those old-fashioned things called books, and then "Specific person A reading Specific piece B" will be a reality I will have to deal with. I hope that day comes soon, and I look forward to it.

Meanwhile, a friend of mine once pointed out that Emily Dickinson and Franz Kafka's preservation of their own works, despite their refusal to publish it, points towards some hope of its eventually being published, meaning it was still written in the hope of that it would find a reader.

I am not sure where to go from here, how to tie this post up into a nice little bow, or how to avoid cliches such as "nice little bow". So instead, I will move on to the next post, one of the versions of my reworked rework of a poem.

Please forgive me.